Capricious Angel

by Immora
July 16 ~ October 04 2001

This is my first piece of Angel Sanctuary fanfiction, but I'm very excited about it. Including the time it took for me to take care of necessary edits, 285 minutes of writing time went into this story (that's almost 5 hours!) I loved working on it, so it was well worth it. I haven't had this much fun with writing in a long time! ^_^ After I finished volume 20, I was feeling quite inspired... but seeing Behind the Music: No Doubt really pushed me into creative mode. So, after a late night writing session and another the following afternoon, I had the first draft finished. The editting process took a couple months, since I had to track down editors, but it was definitely worth it.

I took the title from a bit of a line of "Warera Mizukara wo Suteta Datenshi Nari" by J.A. Seazer. (Unused Shoujo Kakumei Utena music) "With the traces of wings on our backs/ We become capricious angels." Thanks to Amber Michelle for recommending looking at those lyrics!

Enormous thanks to Amber Michelle for being my editor. She worked so much with me on the story (for all but the first draft!), on which Zoisite's proofreading was a huge help. Thank you! The final draft before my final proofs was looked over by Jackie Chiang, yay onee-chan!

Big thanks to the prereaders of my first draft: Shana, Ingrid, Kat-chan, Muraki, Eisdamme, moarch, and of course Mana-ouji-sama. I got their approval but not their corrections ^_~

Angel Sanctuary/Tenshi Kinryouku and all related characters and situations 2001 Kaori Yuki. This story is a fan work. I claim no rights to the series and its characters (etc.), but this story is MINE!

This story is set quite a long time before the events of the series. If you haven't read volume 3 yet, there's some character information revealed there that gets spoiled for you here. If you want to avoid that... don't read it yet! :) Keep in mind that this is set during Rosiel's more sane years. If his behavior seems unusual, that's because he isn't yet the crazy psycho we're used to seeing. Katan's speech isn't the super-formal dialogue we're used to seeing; he's younger and he wouldn't need to be so totally dutiful with sane-Rosiel. Nevertheless, there's still some formality in his wording :)

Enjoy the story!


"Let's go back to those days... the days you wanted so much to bring back..."

~ Rosiel-sama is such a wonderful person... so kind and thoughtful... ~

Katan's steps echoed off the marble walls and floors of the corridor. They all felt so familiar to him after walking through them so many times, both as an ST candidate and now as a cherubim, one of the highest orders of angels.

~ I'm here now because I wanted to meet Rosiel-sama... the one who transformed me from a lowly grigori into a boy... ~

He remembered that shining figure perfectly, the bright light emanating from it... the memory of the beauty brought him close to tears. Rosiel came to him, a bodiless being of the lowest order of angels, one of the few that could actually think. When he heard Katan's cry, his sympathy moved him to give that sad grigori a real form. Katan worked and studied hard to rise in the ranks to get the chance to meet his "father" again in Etemananki, the sacred place for the most beloved angels. For several years now, he'd lived and worked there with Rosiel.

The time for the meeting approached. Rosiel would preside over it, being the highest angel and ruler over Heaven. The first times Katan attended those meetings, nervousness nearly overwhelmed him; it frightened him to see so many important people there, listening as he spoke. Rosiel always smiled reassuringly, which eased his nervousness and encouraged him to continue. Over time, he didn't notice anyone but Rosiel.

The guards at the door separated and opened the way for Katan to pass. Everyone recognized him as Rosiel's closest associate, the one he depended on most. As the highest angel's most trusted companion, he received a great deal of respect, despite being a young man. No one knew Rosiel had raised him from a grigori to a real person.

Only recently achieving adulthood in human terms, Katan was tall with a slim build. Perhaps Rosiel's strong influence during his creation gave him silver hair, cut in a short, tousled style with bangs falling near his serious eyes. Rosiel sometimes teased Katan about maturing quite well. He wore his best uniform for the meetings, a trim pair of black pants and a high-collared black shirt that Rosiel said suited him. The sounds of his polished black boots muffled to soft thuds as he walked across the carpet to approach Rosiel's throne, ignoring the throngs of dignitaries.

Rosiel smiled slightly as Katan approached the steps leading to his throne. Katan inhaled deeply; the sight of Rosiel often took his breath away, even after being around him for years.

Rosiel sat with his legs crossed, an attentive expression on features of unmatched perfection. His eyes were shining and rich in hue, expressing every emotion, from the warmth he showed Katan to the cold disdain he often showed the rest of the world. Waves of hair fell past his waist, silver gleaming like crystal. His smooth skin reminded Katan of pearl, pale and shimmering. For formal gatherings such as this, he wore his usual military-style uniform; a white collared shirt, black necktie, with dark purple pants and a long coat belted at the waist over it, a winged cross pinned to his breast pocket.

"Katan of the order cherubim reporting to inform the council of the current situation with our armies, Rosiel-sama."

"Please deliver your report, Katan." He had a rich voice, a bit high for a male but definitely masculine. One couldn't help but listen to that voice; it thrilled the ear.

Katan swallowed and drew in a deep breath before launching into his report. He kept his voice steady, eyes fixed on Rosiel. Rosiel sat calmly as he listened, nodding at appropriate moments, asking for clarification when necessary. Until Rosiel allowed for discussion, everyone would remain silent.

"Thank you, Katan. Very thorough but wonderfully concise, as always," Rosiel said, the corners of his rosy lips quirking slightly.

Katan's cheeks heated but didn't color from the compliment. "Thank you for your praise, Rosiel-sama."

"Well-earned, of course. You are dismissed." Katan nodded and turned towards the door, then stood outside to wait for Rosiel. Rosiel gestured to the crowd, allowing them to discuss and debate. When he rose to his feet, the chatter stopped so everyone could watch him. He walked down the aisle and out the door, the guards shutting it behind him.

Katan looked at him in surprise. "Don't you have to stay for the rest of the meeting, Rosiel-sama?"

Rosiel laughed lightly, slipping an arm around Katan's. "Why, I can leave as I please! They don't need me for their talks. Besides, we have other things to worry about." Katan let Rosiel lead him down the hallway. "I know you have to be ready for the next meeting in a few hours, but first... I have a gift for you!"

"A gift for me?" Katan blinked in surprise, stopping for a moment. He quickened his step to catch up to Rosiel. "But... why?"

"Do I need a reason to give you a present, Katan?" Rosiel laughed again. "I want you to have it, that's why." He opened the door to his lavish bedroom and ushered Katan inside. "Go on, go on!" Shutting the door behind him, he waved his hand in front of the panel that caused the lamps to light. He walked over to the wardrobe, chuckling softly at Katan's confused expression. "Come over here!"

Katan waited by Rosiel's side for him to produce the small box. Rosiel thrust it towards Katan with child-like excitement, watching as he opened it carefully. An earring lay on the cloth inside, a cross dangling from a small stud, a replacement for the one Rosiel chided him for losing last week. More importantly to Katan, this gift came from the one he held in highest regard.

"Rosiel-sama... it's... thank you..."

Rosiel held up the earring and put it in Katan's earlobe for him. Delighted with it, he squeezed Katan's hands, beaming. "I'm so glad you like it! It suits you better than the old one, doesn't it?"

"It's from Rosiel-sama! Of course I like it."

Rosiel laughed pleasantly, gently wrapping his arms around Katan. "I was hoping you would appreciate it for what it is and not just because it's from me!"

Rosiel looked over at the reflection in the mirror, letting his arms loosen and drop to his sides, his smile turning sad. Katan looked at him in surprise at the sudden change of mood. "Tell me honestly, Katan... from the heart... do you think I'm... beautiful?"

"You are the most beautiful being in all the universe," Katan answered without hesitation. He blinked when Rosiel unexpectedly grabbed him in a fierce embrace, pressing his face against Katan's shoulder.

"Am I really, Katan?"

"No one could ever match your radiance," Katan said softly, holding Rosiel against his chest. Though he didn't understand Rosiel's reasons for asking this, he could see that his reassurance was needed. "Rosiel- sama, you are the epitome of beauty... all are in awe of your perfection."

"Promise me something, Katan!" Rosiel gripped him harder, eyes tightening with raw pain as he pulled his head back to look at Katan. "Never leave me! Stay with me forever! Promise me!"

"I... I promise, Rosi--" Rosiel's loud cry cut off his words, his tears wetting Katan's shoulder. He stroked Rosiel's hair, trying to calm his sobbing. "Rosiel-sama... it's alright... I'll always be here..."

"You won't let anyone keep you away from me, not like Alexiel!"

Rosiel's twin sister... the Creator wouldn't allow her near Etemananki... but Rosiel said she hated him and kept away by choice. Katan remembered sensing Rosiel crying over her before, going to his room to comfort him, but Rosiel had never slipped into hysterics. "No one will keep me from you, Rosiel-sama. I promise."

Rosiel finally calmed down and drew away from Katan. "Thank you, Katan... please, I need to be by myself now."

Concerned, Katan touched Rosiel's shoulder, asking in a soft voice, "Are you sure, Rosiel-sama?"

"Get out!" A wild look filled Rosiel's eyes. He swung an arm out, a trembling finger pointed at the door. "I said I want to be alone! Get out! Get out of my sight! I don't want you here!"

"Rosiel-sama?!" Katan stepped back, terrified of Rosiel's sudden rage. He didn't want to leave his master alone right now, but he fled the room, unable to stand the pain in his chest from those words. Even when he made a mistake, Rosiel never yelled at him. He always showed patience and kindness, sometimes teasing but never hurtful. Katan dashed into his room and slammed the door behind him, curling up on his bed. Tears stung his eyes.

~ Rosiel-sama... he didn't mean it... he's just very upset and I questioned his order, he wouldn't have yelled at me if he wasn't upset... ~

Gradually, Katan calmed down. He lay on his bed, staring up at his ceiling. Time passed without him being aware of it. He couldn't hear any sound outside.

It seemed like only a few minutes passed, rather than a few hours, before he heard a soft knock on his door. Rosiel came in without waiting for a response, letting the door close on its own. His crying didn't mar his appearance; he looked like tears never fell on his cheeks. Katan sat up but remained on his bed.

"Katan... I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm just feeling very emotional lately over my sister. Will you forgive me..." Rosiel's shining eyes pleaded with Katan as much as his words did.

Katan stood and walked over to Rosiel, touching his cheek. "Of course I forgive you, Rosiel-sama. Your sister means a lot to you, you have every right to be sad about her." He didn't feel any sadness for himself anymore. Rosiel suffered from a pain far stronger than his. Katan had only been yelled at in a moment of strong emotion, but Rosiel had been kept apart from his twin for his entire life.

Rosiel bit his lip and hugged Katan tightly, laughing without humor when he released Katan. His smile didn't touch his eyes. "I get emotional sometimes, don't I? Even the highest angel has emotions."

"Yes, even Rosiel-sama, who bears a greater burden than the rest of us." Katan folded his hands together in front of himself, worried over how Rosiel's feelings would hold.

Rosiel quickly composed himself, all traces of sadness disappearing. "Well, we should be going. We have that second meeting to attend, after all."

Katan groaned softly, unable to conceal his embarrassment, "I didn't finish checking over my report. I was... I didn't realize how much time had passed..."

"I shouldn't have raised my voice towards you, now I've distracted you from your work!" Rosiel wrapped an arm around Katan's, walking to the door with him. "But we don't want you to be late. Besides, you don't need to check it again, you always do wonderfully, so don't worry about it. You will do fine."

Katan's cheeks reddened slightly, a rarity for him. "Thank you, Rosiel- sama. You think too highly of me."

"Maybe you don't think highly enough of yourself!" Rosiel's light laughter rang in the hall. "You are such a dear, Katan! I don't know what I'd do without you. I have to have you by my side! Why, I think if I ever lost you, I'd go insane."

Rosiel spoke with light words, but Katan felt a cold fear spreading through him. "I'll always be by your side, Rosiel-sama. I'll always be here for you. Whenever you need me there, I will abandon everything else."

Rosiel stopped walking and halted Katan, the corners of his lips turning up in a playful smile. "Why, Katan, what if you have work to do?"

"Rosiel-sama is more important than my duties."

"But you have to obey orders, Katan!" Rosiel laughed merrily. "You should always obey an order, even when you think it's wrong. You don't want to be disobedient, do you?"

Rosiel said it glibly, but Katan's dread remained. Those words made him deeply troubled, though he didn't know why they should. "If it meant I would have to act against your best interests, I wouldn't follow orders. I have to do what's best for Rosiel-sama, not for myself."

The playful smile turned soft as Rosiel put his hands on Katan's shoulders, squeezing them lightly. "Never lose that earnest feeling, Katan. Your dedication to what you feel is right puts you above everyone else. You are better than the rest of us. Never change." He bent forward, pressing his soft lips to Katan's brow.

"I... if you say so, Rosiel-sama!" His apprehension quickly disappeared, warmed away by Rosiel's sincere expression. He found himself smiling broadly at Rosiel, his usual emotional reservations slipping away.

Rosiel removed his hands from Katan's shoulders. "Well, we should stop dallying. We have our duties to attend to. There will be time for sentiments later, hmm?" He slipped a hand into Katan's, lacing their fingers together, and started down the hallway again.

~ Of course, Rosiel-sama... We can always talk later. We have our whole lives ahead of us, together. ~


The Katan quote at the very beginning comes from the twentieth and final volume of the manga.

If you know what happens later in the series, the ending will have a very different impact for you! ^_~

Thank you for reading my story! ^_^

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